dear boyfriend,


i don't know where to start. and i know i have been repeating this alot of times and you must be sick and tired of it. you know i love you right from the start and i'd do so till eternity. but i simply can't refrain myself from thinking that i have been making your life miserable. and i so think it's true. you know i always shed pails of tears whenever we had a fight. but you fail to know the reason behind it. i cried because i failed to make you happy. i kept thinking that i was never the right one for you. but when you told me once that you ever cried too, it touched my heart. i never thought you would. you've been there for me when i needed you. i have no doubts that we have come this far. because i know i won't stop loving you. eventhough we fight alot, and yes i mean ALOT, we still managed to sort things out. i apologised if i ever make you mad and frustrated which i know it happened alot of times. i really appreciate the things you do for me. and your smile and funny faces, they make me melt. you're not hotstuff but you're simply adorable inside. i won't say it's like a dream come true, but it's more to fate. fate has brought us together and wants us to be together, still. i don't want to lose you. i love you. i hope you feel the same way too. till now, i never knew the reason why i have always been your"type of girl" when i think i'm so much of a troublemaker.

love,

nana

what were my dreams are now reality

you say all the things im about to speak

no one can ever change the way i feel

baby it's you and me against the world

ride or die to the very end

if your tires pop i'll be your second stand

your my man and no doubt that i'm your girl

baby it's you and me against the world

people can hate on us if they choose

no matter what they do

it's gonna be me and you forever

the way you love me is unnatural

like i'm the only girl who is existing in your world

i can't picture my life without you

you been by my side the whole way through

the chances i'll find somebody almost like you

is a million to one

so the fabolous one

I'm so proud to say that you are my first love. When we're together baby, know that you're the only one. When you came next to me and hold me closely, I know you love me. You make my story complete. I'm so happy that I got you here to hold me down. I'll never break your heart and go astray no way no how. Treasure from up above. Never betray your trust. Always thinking' 'bout us. Baby I'm forever in love, it feels so crazy when you wrap your arms around me. I place my ear against your chest to hear your heart beat. Take good care of me 'cause your the reason that I still believe our fairy tale has just begun. If I'm in a movie then don't nobody say cut. And if I could be dreaming then let me sleep forever. You're so lovely and sweet like honey. There ain't nothing' that can change the way these feelings boo.

have not blogged for the past few days due to the shitty internet breakdown.
so yeah this is what has been happening lately.

160808
went out with boyfriend.
watched "the journey to the centre of the earth" movie at THE CATHAY.
i soo love the movie, very funny.
den went to orchard go jalan-jalan.
den chilled out at RAFFLES PLACE, ate the left-over cheese fries that we bought at kfc at plaza singapura.

170808
went out with boyfriend again
watched "the mummy" movie at cineleisure orchard.
den went back home.

okae that's about it ~~~~~~


had an unpleasant morning today. A part of me feels sad while the other part of me feels happy. I really can't describe how i feel today, thousands of feelings all wrapping me up. I'm frustrated. Okay, i'm not suffering from depression or whatsoever. just having mood swings these days and boyfriend's the victim. i'm sorry. Having to face more and more problems each day is just so sucky. Relationship problems, family problems, and err, studies? i guess this is typical for teens like me. but i am sooo not used to having so much problems at one time, and have no idea how to cope with them. i wish i could help boyfriend, but i can't. i'm a useless girlfriend. as for today, things are getting a little better between me and boyfriend but still i still feel like im standing on a strand of hair waiting to fall anytime. i could feel that our relationship's getting shaky nowadays but nothing is going to stop me from being with boyfriend. that's for sure. we chat, sort things out, clear every doubts we had and tried to forget what happened earlier on. that's just the best way, forgive and forget and i know that i've done that like a million times. Pfft.

i want to stop fighting with boyfriend

i want to have a peaceful love and relationship

i want the old him, the old us

because i love him very much

i'm SORRY.
i AM sorry.
very much.
VERY VERY VERY MUCH.
overrated as it sounds, i still very much am.
i've explained and told you why i reacted that way.
and again, i AM sorry syg..
you don't deserve that. AT ALL.
not from me, not from ANYONE.
truth is, you DO matter to me.
and yes, i DO care.
but just not enough i guess.

im crying so bad and so hard, still.
i didnt and i cant sleep the whole night.
i know i cant and shouldnt cause the only one who can do all that is himself.
and fuck, i never thought i'd breakdown this hard.
it hurts real bad. ssssssoooooooooooo bad.
but yeah, it just suddenly made me all the more realise that i want him.
and ONLY HIM.
I LOVE YOU khairul rasul .
you know i do.
YOU JUST HAVE NO IDEA AT ALL HOW MUCH I DO :(

and jyeah, today is our 1YEAR AND 3MONTH.
so baby, happy 1year and 3month anni syg.
i love you KHAIRUL RASUL BIN HAMIDI.
ive told you this, and i'll say this again.
YOU MAKE ALL THE BAD THINGS I HAD TO GO THROUGH ALONE ALL WORTHWHILE BABY.
CAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.
AND ITS GONNA WORTH MY WHOLE LIFETIME.
AND SO ARE YOU (:
FOREVER AND EVER BABY,
I LOVE YOU.
I MISS YOU.
I NEED YOU.
IM THINKING OF YOU.
A.L.W.A.Y.S ((:

im sorry baby, i messed up. again. and again. and again.
i dont know what's gotten into me.
but i know im thankful cause you've been very patient with me, having to deal with my "the size of a man's ego".
i know that i have to stop this attitude and try to make things work better.
cause i know, that everyone has a certain limit to the amount of bullshits they can handle.
you're only human, and you do too.
i dont wanna repeat it till you decided that you've had enough.
i dont wanna miss something thats worth living for.
i love you KHAIRUL RASUL.
always have and always will.

When you said that we could make it through whatever .
And to me it sounded like you meant forever .
Leaving was not MY option, baby, never .

i know you love me.
but truth is,
i love you more okae syg !

so, still love me baby ?